How to Pray When You Don't Know What to Say

Most people who stop by the Prayer Wall have never been taught how to pray. They've seen it done at funerals, maybe in a film. It looks like something you need special words for, or a special voice. So they don't.

Here is the whole secret: prayer is talking to God. That's it. Honestly, in your own words, the way you'd talk to someone who already knows everything about you and loves you anyway.

What Jesus said about it

Jesus' disciples asked Him exactly this question: Lord, teach us to pray (Luke 11:1). He didn't give them a technique. He warned them off performance first:

“But when ye pray, use not vain repetitions, as the heathen do: for they think that they shall be heard for their much speaking. … for your Father knoweth what things ye have need of, before ye ask him.”

Matthew 6:7–8 (KJV)

Read that again. God already knows what you need. You're not informing Him or impressing Him. Then Jesus gave them a short, plain prayer we call the Lord's Prayer: Our Father which art in heaven, Hallowed be thy name. Thy kingdom come. Thy will be done… (Matthew 6:9–13). Not a formula to recite so much as a shape: who God is, what He wants, what we need, what we've done wrong, what we're up against.

Start with one sentence

If you've never prayed, don't start with twenty minutes. Start with one honest sentence. Out loud or silently, eyes open or closed, walking or lying in bed. Something like:

• "God, I don't know if You're there, but if You are, I want to know You." That is a real prayer, and He answers it.
• "God, thank You." Then name one thing. A meal. A friend. The fact that you woke up.
• "God, help." The shortest prayer in the Bible is Peter sinking in the waves: Lord, save me (Matthew 14:30). It worked.
• "God, I'm sorry." Say what for. He already knows, and if we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us (1 John 1:9).

That's four prayers. Thank you, help, sorry, and I want to know You. Most of life fits in them.

You can be completely honest

The prayers in the Bible are not polite. David tells God he feels forgotten (Psalm 13:1). Job argues. Jeremiah complains that God tricked him. Jesus Himself, in the garden, prayed if it be possible, let this cup pass from me (Matthew 26:39) and sweat blood doing it. You are allowed to bring God your anger, your doubt, your grief and your boredom. He'd rather have the real you than a performance.

“Casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you.”

1 Peter 5:7 (KJV)

When you can't find any words

Sometimes there are none. The Bible has an answer for that too: the Spirit itself maketh intercession for us with groanings which cannot be uttered (Romans 8:26). On the days you can only sit there, sitting there with God is prayer. You can also borrow words: read a Psalm out loud as your own prayer. Psalm 23 and Psalm 139 are good places to start.

Build a rhythm, not a rule

• Attach it to something you already do. First coffee. The drive to work. Brushing your teeth. Two minutes, every day, beats an hour once a month.
• Pray about people by name. Your family, the coworker who's struggling, the neighbour you barely know. How to pray for your city takes this further.
• Write some of it down. A prayer you can see later is a prayer you can watch get answered.
• Pray with someone. It's less awkward than it sounds, and it changes friendships. The Prayer Wall is a simple place to start: post one line, pray for one other person.

When it feels like nothing happens

It will, sometimes. Jesus told a story specifically so people ought always to pray, and not to faint (Luke 18:1): a widow who kept knocking on a judge's door until he answered. Keep knocking. Some answers come fast, some come slowly, some come as no or not yet, and some you only recognise years later. But none of it is wasted. The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much (James 5:16), and in Jesus, that's you.

If you've never talked to God before, you could do it right now, before you close this page. One sentence. He's listening.